once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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