your room smells of hookers.
And success
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Randomize
