I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
as a side note pls kill me
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