sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
