It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
