i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
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