Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
