another moral hangover. fuck.
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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