do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
