you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
You were trust falling into bushes
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
