Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
