it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
