He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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