He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
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