Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize