Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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