walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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