i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
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