she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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