Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Randomize