I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Randomize
