Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
