i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Randomize
