Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
