i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
cat food counts as protein by the way
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
