I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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