Duck Duck Cougar?
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
