Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Randomize
