WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Randomize
