Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize
