he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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