How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Randomize
