every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Randomize
