Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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