We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
