Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
