where am i from again
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Randomize
