Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
