Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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