I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
