bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize