if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Randomize
