Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
