Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
