No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
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