I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
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