It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Randomize
