Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
