the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Randomize
