just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
