the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
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