oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
