It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
