...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
