Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
He shit in the fireplace
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