He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
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