was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
