Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Randomize
